a search for authenticity
I have a few friends who are new fans of Anne Lamott….and I have a few that have loved her for years. I found this video of an interview she did last year at the 2007 Writer’s Symposium by the Sea.
Finally, someone has spoken the truth:
10. A man’s place is in the army.
9. The pastoral duties of men who have children might distract them from the responsibility of being a parent.
8. The physique of men indicates that they are more suited to such tasks as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be “unnatural” for them to do ministerial tasks.
7. Man was created before woman, obviously as a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment rather than the crowning achievement of creation.
6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. Their conduct at football and basketball games demonstrates this.
5. Some men are handsome, and this will distract women worshipers.
4. Pastors need to nurture their congregations. But this is not a traditional male role. Throughout history, women have been recognized as not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more fervently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.
3. Men are prone to violence. No really masculine man wants to settle disputes except by fighting about them. Thus they would be poor role models as well as dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.
2. The New Testament tells us that Jesus was betrayed by a man. His lack of faith and ensuing punishment remind us of the subordinated position that all men should take.
1. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep sidewalks, repair the church roof, and perhaps even lead the song service on Father’s Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the church.
What do you do when nothing in your life seems to fit you? That’s how I’ve felt most of today. It’s like every piece of my life - relationships, job, hobbies, dreams - feel like jeans that are a size too small. Tight, uncomfortable and causing me to feel horrible about myself because they don’t fit.
I came upon this post on Maternal Spark today and thought her words on the creative life were so right on, that as a friend, I had to share them with you (in my own words).
1. Write it down!
This is also a lesson I have learned from my MIL, who always has a notebook or index cards in her purse. She is always ready to record what has inspired her. Also, for those of us addicted to our cellphones - I often save notes on my phone.
2. Let it go.
There are always other things that you “should” be doing when you sit down to actually get started on that creative project you’ve been dreaming about. I never realize how dirty my house is until I sit down at my computer with an essay/blog post in mind. Each day we are faced with choices, what we decide shapes our day and ultimately who we are. I want to make decisions that shape my creative spirit, more than I need to have a clean house.
3. Take time out.
For yourself. It can be a nap, a drive, a walk….or an Artist’s date.
4. Avoid brain suckers.
TV. TMZ. It is an unfair trade to us. In return for mind-numbing junk that clutters and confuses our creative spirit, we trade our value time.
5. Get organized/prepared.
My favorite creative times are when I’m able to prepare some - clean off my space, get a cup of water & some tea, fire up the laptop and kick Dan out of the house.
Earlier this evening I read a short article about January 21st (tomorrow!) being the saddest day of the year. The author said this was due to people being ganged up on by things like holiday credit card debit, miserable cold weather and failed new years resolutions. (I honestly don’t know how people have already failed, I have yet to start my new year resolutions.)
Anyway, the article has me thinking about how we cope with sadness and grief. I don’t have a clue how to deal with my own grief. It has been nine months since the greatest lost I’ve ever known, and I feel like at any moment I am going to all fall apart and I have to fight to survive each day.
The wisest person I know once told me that everyone is grieving about something. I agree and see it in friends who are lonely, unfulfilled and isolated. Even without looking in the mirror, I see people who are in pain everyday and don’t know what to do.
But I believe that there has to be something we can do, together, to help lessen the pain. Or at least provide some company in our misery. I’m not really looking for healing, just some coping companions who want to try to be honest about grief.
Just wanting to remind all Anne Lamott fans that she is coming to Richmond this spring!
Words of encouragement I received in an email from the mother of one of the VT victims:
“If we can heal, the world will be a much better place.”
Three more senseless shootings in the past few days. Dozens of families who will never be the same. Dozens of people, who are hurting and who lost their life today, because a death doesn’t end just one life.
Maybe our conversations and journey in life shouldn’t be so focused on figuring out what is right and what is wrong, because there are times when life doesn’t follow those rules. There are times when everything you want to believe about good defeating evil, about bad things not happening to good people just don’t seem true. It is in those moments that I think we should worry less about figuring out right and wrong, and spend more energy trying to figure out how to give life/hope/love/peace/joy back to those who are in pain.
Crafting holiday gifts has got me thinking about creativity. Nothing has seemed to bring “healing” into my life like trying to connect with my creative spirit. Though I’m just making simple jewelry and knit gifts, each completed project brings a little bit of peace into my life. But, even though it brings so much goodness into my day, there are times when I need some inspiration to get started with a project, or to have the courage to do something different. I know a lot of you also enjoy being creative - with crafts, writing, blogs, relationships, baking, work, home decorating and much more. What are some sources of inspiration for you? Songs? Poems? Movies? Books? People?
One of my all-time favorite authors is Anne Lamott. She is one of the best story-tellers I have come across. Her stories speak the truth, beauty and pain of being a human trying to live with other humans while seeking a connection with God/Goddess. Her strength to be honest often leaves me daydreaming of the true, authentic life. I remember the evening when I devoured her book on writing, Bird by Bird, and felt the connection between her words and my creative spirit. They were warm, comforting and encouraging words that we expect to hear from our mothers. Yet, they were also the words that taught me “shitty first drafts”.
With that being said, you can understand my excitement in learning that Anne Lamott is coming to Richmond! She will be giving a lecture in early March. I know that is several months away, but you need to understand, this is ANNE LAMOTT!!!!!!! I will barely be able to sleep from now till March 5th.
Here are some details I received in an email:
Save the date!
The Sylvester Lecture: Faith, Writing, and Life Connections; An Evening
with Anne Lamott
Wednesday, March 5, 2008, 7:00 pm
The Office of the Chaplaincy at the University of Richmond will host
Anne Lamott Wednesday March 5. The event is FREE and open to the
public. Tickets will be made available through the Modlin Center Box
Office BEGINNING FEB. 11, 2008. If you need more information about the
event itself before Feb. 11, please contact Josh Dickerson in The Office
of the Chaplaincy at (804) 289-8500.
Anne Lamott is the author of six novels including, Hard Laughter,
Rosie, Joe Jones, All New People, and Crooked Little Heart (the sequel
to Rosie), as well as four bestselling books of nonfiction, Operating
Instructions, an account of life as a single mother during her son’s
first year and Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, a
guide to writing and the challenges of a writer’s life, Traveling
Mercies, a collection of autobiographical essays on faith, and Plan B:
Further Thoughts on Faith. She has been honored with a Guggenheim
Fellowship, and has taught at UC Davis, as well as at writing
conferences across the country. Lamott’s biweekly Salon Magazine
online diary; Word by Word, was voted The Best of the Web by TIME
magazine. Filmmaker Freida Mock (who won an Academy Award for her
documentary on Maya Lin) has made a documentary on Lamott, entitled
Bird by Bird with Annie (1999). Anne Lamott’s next essay collection is
entitled Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith (March 2007).
Dan just read this to me from the Simple Way’s website:
“Try reading only female writers for a year (since many of our problems seem to be stemming from men).”
I’d love to see any of my male friends commit to this, if even just for 3-4 months.
I am very inspired by this post on Rachelle’s blog. Hope it inspires you too.
I live in a city where a mega church pastor repeatedly instructs his young congregation to see women as subservient to men…
I practice a religion where systemic dysfunction keeps many women from being who they were truly meant to be….
I dwell on a globe where women and girls are systematically raped and murdered in order to allow the violent and the powerful to be more violent and more powerful…
“If I had a hammer, I would smash patriarchy.
Last night Dan & I went to ADR. While there Rock talked a little about us being creative beings. This is an idea that I have been pondering on for some time. I was reminded of a blog post that I wrote nearly a year ago while Dan & I were meeting regularly with some wonderful friends in Maryland. I don’t want to forget these ideas and questions of creativity & spirituality. I want to explore them, and not by myself.
I’d love to explore and experiment various spiritual practices with a group. Expressing creativity in a group is one thing I’d like to explore. Our normal evenings involve studying and commenting on something written by someone we never met. All the songs that we listen to or sing were written by someone else. Yes, at times their words express just what my heart could not put together, but I wonder if my heart has never really tried to put the words together because it knows that someone else will.
In my current group (and much like other groups I’ve been involved in), nearly everyone was raised in a christian home and at some point in life felt like we know everything. We are not arrogant, we are bored. Everything seems to be the same. Maybe it’s boring because what we study, sing, and practice was created outside of us. It is all trying to work from the outside in, and doesn’t always get to our core. Unlike things that are created by us, that work from the inside out. I really believe that there is much to our spiritual life that we miss out on because we are so dependent upon the works/thoughts/expressions of others. I’m not just talking about our personal spirituality, but also in a group. I wonder what spiritual initmacy would form if creativity was experimented with in a group setting. Shared creativity. Creating things as a group, and as individuals for each other. Experimenting with group writing, or creating a piece of art together, or reading reflections written by individuals in the group.
I know that in reality this sort of stuff could be very akward and it could be impossible to convince others in a group to go along. Tapping into our creative parts is sometimes hard, and trying to share that with others is scary. I don’t know how to get over the fear because I struggle with it a lot in my writing. Maybe it is important to realize that often the process of creating can be just as valued as the end result. So the painting of Abraham and Isaac at the alter doesn’t turn out the way we had envisioned, but the time of creating made the story come alive and brought forth a new understanding of how we value “things
Whenever I experience a big change in life I learn a lot about myself. Living in Richmond is giving me lots of opportunities to learn more about myself, some good, some bad. Let me share a not-so-great thing I am learning about myself.
I’m realizing that I don’t have a clue on what it takes to share life with others, especially with other Christians. With a group of people, how do you get to the point where everyone feels comfortable sharing their physical (daily), emotional, and spiritual lives with each other? How do I let myself open up and share? I don’t want it to be a forced, difficult labor. Can’t it happen naturally? I know that is has happened naturally for me in the past. The process is even more complicated for me in Christian groups because we try to share a spiritual life before the daily and emotional lives are comfortably shared, before friendships are developed.
Here we are in Richmond, meeting new people. We’ve met some great people and are trying to develop friendships with them. Most of the people that we have met are Christians who we met at a couple of churches being started. We see these new friends on a pretty regular basis at their gatherings. As to be expected, at their events people share their spiritual life and worship together. But, I am learning that I don’t know how to do that with people I barely know. Without emotional intimacy it feels fake to me because I won’t allow my spirt to participate in the worship. I won’t allow my lips to share my stories. I will let my ears hear the stories being told, but my mind is busy wondering what is wrong with me, why can’t I share in the experience? Dan can share. He jumps on in. Where I want to develop a friendship before sharing my spiritual life with others, Dan is the opposite, he is sharing his spiritual life in order to develop a friendship. His way does make sense, but for some reason I don’t work that way.
So, if you are part of one of the churches that Dan & I are becoming friends with, this is why I get quiet. It will probably take me a while to learn how to share my spiritual life with you.
Prayer beads are something that I’ve never used before. But a few months ago I was inspired by the Urban Abbess who made prayer beads with her children. Last night I finally made my own strand of prayer beads. Instead of following a scripted prayer for my beads I came up with groups of people that I want to pray for on a regular basis. These groups include Richmonders, those living in Church Hill, those who come into our home, my friends, and my family. For each group I pray for love, peace, liberation, transformation, and their dreams. My prayer beads are very simple, but I look forward to using them daily to guide me.
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