a search for authenticity
A friend sent me this video, and I thought that I should share it hear as a helpful warning to all boyfriends/husbands.
(Ladies, prepare to laugh…..and maybe get a little angry as you remember previous gifts you’ve received from your special guy.)
Months ago a friend gave me a book of daily readings called Simple Abundance. I don’t open it every morning, but on the mornings that I do I have found I have “better days”. The readings often inspire and empower me to live a more authentic life.
A reading earlier this week gave a list of suggestions to cope with stress. I went through the list and picked out the suggestions that I think would most help me cope - or even better, avoid - stress. They are such simple ideas, but could make a huge impact on my day-to-day life. I feel a rush of energy and passion throughout my body as I attempt to imagine what my life would be like if I lived out these suggestions each day (or even most days).
Carve out an hour a day for solitude.
Begin and end the day with prayer, meditation, reflection.
Keep your house picked up.
Don’t over schedule.
Strive for realistic deadlines.
Allow an extra half hour for everything you do.
Create quiet surroundings at home and at work.
Go to bed at 9pm twice a week.
Always carry something interesting to read.
Breathe - deeply and often.
Eat only when hungry.
Set aside one day a week for rest and renewal.
Luxuriate in your senses.
If you don’t love it, live without it.
Let Mother Nature nurture.
Stop trying to please everybody.
Start pleasing yourself.
Stay away from negative people.
Don’t squander precious resources: time, creative energy, emotion.
Nurture friendships.
Don’t be afraid of your passion.
Approach problems as challenges.
Honor your aspirations.
Savor beauty.
Create boundaries.
For every “yes”, let there be a “no”.
Cherish your dreams.
Express love every day.
Search for your authentic self until you find her (him).
I have a few friends who are new fans of Anne Lamott….and I have a few that have loved her for years. I found this video of an interview she did last year at the 2007 Writer’s Symposium by the Sea.
“A life of geekery and glitter, a life of bliss is finally mine.”
This is a quote from a blog I just discovered. BlissChick amazes me with her gentle inspiring words that capture the spirit of creativity. When you’ve got a few moments check her out - for it’s definitely a blog that will give you a great return on any time you invest into reading it.
After dinner at last week’s potluck, a few of us gathered in the great room on the cozy red couch and chair to sit under the breeze of the fan and chat. Our conversation eventually revolved around Anne Lamott. Some of us just recently discovered Anne Lamott, while others have been avid readers for years, but we have all fallen in love with her authenticity and beautiful story telling. One by one we shared pieces of our favorite stories. My friend Sarah talked about how she was touched by Anne Lamott’s story of recovery from an eating disorder, which involved reaching out for help, learning to recognize hunger/emptiness and learning how to feed herself.
I had read the same story a few years ago, but now, I can relate to it on a whole new level as I realize that I’ve been trying to comfort myself with food over the past year. I have rarely considered myself an emotional eater. Until recently.
Feeling a little blue? Well, have some ice cream, a glass of wine, and a jar of Nutella. Then you’ll feel better.
I don’t know why I ever fell for that trick. Or even worse, why do I continue to fall for it. It doesn’t make the pain go away, in fact, it usually leaves me with a tummy ache or a hangover. So, I’ve decided that I’m done with that. I want to go back to the way I use to view food - as nourishment, as energy and as a opportunity to share life with others. I want to only feed my stomach food when it is empty. And more importantly I want to take Anne’s story of recovery and learn how to nourish my soul when it is on empty. Instead of reaching for a yummy desert when I feel scared, lonely and empty, I want to reach out for help, learn to recognize hunger/emptiness and learn how to feed myself.
“I live in the nourishment of food and the sun and the warmth of the people who love me.”
From My Secret Body, Anne Lamott
I have to admit its a big step for me to even consider something like this. Grief is a strange emotion, and I know most people experience it differently. For me, it has been a great struggle to want to do something healthy for myself or take care of myself. I’m sure that I will still falter because there is only a tiny part of me that even thinks that overcoming this unhealthy pattern I’ve developed is important, but I must try.
Today I pulled out an old journal that I’ve only halfway filled. After spending some time adding a new memory to the pages, I flipped through the older entries and briefly relived excitement and worries of the past. Amidst the random entries and writing exercises I found a quote scribbled on a page all by itself and I wanted to share it with you.
“Our real journey in life is interior, it is a matter of growth, deepening, and an even greater surrender to the creative action of love and grace in our hearts.”
This wisdom comes from The Asian Journal of Thomas Merton. These words seem to fit perfectly with the small sense of peace that I have this weekend.
Jealous of my VP’s extensive vocabulary, a co-worker & I signed up to receive “Word of the Day” emails. One of my words over the weekend was sub rosa which is a new phrase to me, but truly captures my circle of friends. Meaning secretly or privately, sub rosa comes from Latin, literally “under the rose”. From my Word-A-Day, I learned that the rose had a strong association with confidentiality in ancient times. The ceilings of Roman banquet-rooms were decorated with roses to remind guests that what was spoken sub vino (under the influence of wine) was also sub rosa.
Sub vino. Sub rosa. How perfectly that describes the level of trust among my friends. We welcome each other into our homes for sharing of wine and life. We trust each other with all the hopes, dreams, fears, silliness, sadness and happiness that may happen to come out after a couple of glasses of wine. We trust that all of our thoughts and feelings are welcomed, valid and sub rosa.
On another note, I think Sub Rosa sounds like a great name (or at least serve as inspiration) for the girls only book club I mentioned starting 100 years ago…..
I came upon this post on Maternal Spark today and thought her words on the creative life were so right on, that as a friend, I had to share them with you (in my own words).
1. Write it down!
This is also a lesson I have learned from my MIL, who always has a notebook or index cards in her purse. She is always ready to record what has inspired her. Also, for those of us addicted to our cellphones - I often save notes on my phone.
2. Let it go.
There are always other things that you “should” be doing when you sit down to actually get started on that creative project you’ve been dreaming about. I never realize how dirty my house is until I sit down at my computer with an essay/blog post in mind. Each day we are faced with choices, what we decide shapes our day and ultimately who we are. I want to make decisions that shape my creative spirit, more than I need to have a clean house.
3. Take time out.
For yourself. It can be a nap, a drive, a walk….or an Artist’s date.
4. Avoid brain suckers.
TV. TMZ. It is an unfair trade to us. In return for mind-numbing junk that clutters and confuses our creative spirit, we trade our value time.
5. Get organized/prepared.
My favorite creative times are when I’m able to prepare some - clean off my space, get a cup of water & some tea, fire up the laptop and kick Dan out of the house.
Friday is Jarrett’s birthday. Being the first one we will celebrate without him, my family & I are headed to the beach for the weekend because Jarrett loved going to the beach. Here is a note my mom put in her community paper, inviting her neighbors to celebrate Jarrett’s birthday:
Jarrett Lane was known and loved by many people in Giles County. Friday, March 28th is his birthday. To celebrate his life, we ask you to join us in remembering him. On Friday, we encourage you to spend time sharing your favorite memories of Jarrett and doing things that Jarrett loved to do – like, spend time with friends, get outside and play, go for a drive and spend the evening watching a movie with family.
Love, the family of Jarrett Lane.
Child of Wonder, Child of God. We remember you.
Dan & I went up to Maryland this weekend for Mike & Sarah’s wedding shower. After the shower, I drove us back home to Richmond, and most of our drive was after the sun had set. Although I was only able to see a few yards of highway lit by the headlights, I was able to travel the 1oo+ miles necessary to get home. We made the trip home, a few yards at a time. I had never really thought about that until I heard Anne Lamott talk recently. It was a quote she shared by someone I can’t remember.
I’ve been thinking about Jarrett constantly today. It’s been about a year since I last saw him. This time last year he was on spring break and he came to Richmond for a visit. I’m dumbfounded as how a year has gone by. I guess it is much like driving at night. Each morning I wake up and I’m able to see the few hours ahead of me. I travel through those hours not knowing how I will ever be able to get through tomorrow, or next week. Hour by hour, or, depending on the day, minute by minute, and I’ve somehow traveled a year.
Update: I found the quote…
“It’s like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” by E.L. Doctorow
I just spent the morning crafting and listening to Prairie Home Companion, my favorite NPR show. This week they presented their annual joke show. Here was my favorite (bad) joke:
When God created woman, she was created with 3 breasts. However, the 3rd, middle breast, kept getting in the way, so God preformed surgery and removed it. Later, the woman came to God, holding the 3rd breast in her hand saying, “What shall we do with the useless boob?”
God then created man.
Hearing Anne Lamott read one of her stories and just talk about life was wonderful and I hope to share some of her bits of humor and wisdom later. But for now, here is one of my favorite quotes she paraphrased during her talk:
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
- Samuel Beckett
There are lots of reasons why I love living in Church Hill. The history, the homes, the people and the transformation are a few things I cherish. But, what I love most is the daydreaming. Church Hill isn’t just a place where people eat & sleep, it’s a place where dreams, big and small, are had, shared and maybe brought to life. Almost every gathering with friends who also love Church Hill includes a conversation where daydreams are shared. The conversations usually include one friend sharing an idea, then another friend adding their twist to it - and someone else pointing out an abandoned building that would be the perfect location for it to all come together.
My current day dream for Church Hill is a mixture of ideas from several friends & neighbors, and a few of my own….
Like most (if not all) of the people living in Church Hill, I want to see something done with the old movie theater on 25th street. I think about that building a lot, and the potential for it to become something as unique as the people living here - something that represents our diversity and passions. I envision the first floor of the building being a place for anyone to share their creative side - an art gallery, handmade crafts for sale, a cafe/bakery, a stage for musical and theatrical performances. The upper floors of the building will contain rooms where neighbors teach neighbors anything and everything - painting, crafting, music, home repair, computer skills, pet care, foreign language, cooking, how to start a business…. Also, contained in upper floors are open spaces like a beautiful studio for yoga & pilates and an open office space available for anyone to use. Maybe there will be room for a natural health practitioner to have an office, or for a few artists to have studios. These are just a few of the ideas that have been discussed at my dinner table. And I love them all.
I love the idea of a space in Church Hill that allows each of us to answer that soft question we hear inside asking us what more do we need/want other than work & homelife. Sharing our skills, learning new things, meeting neighbors, and maybe making daydreams come true.
Tonight I pulled out an old journal my mom gave me because I decided I wanted to write in that old-fashion way of using a pencil and paper. Anyway, the journal is called “A Woman’s Notebook”. I’m sure I’ve never used it because of the huge, ugly flowers on the cover of it. However, each page has a thought-provoking quote by a woman in history, including some of my favorite authors and this from Coco Chanel:
“How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something, but to be someone.”
I think this short quote captures the essence of simplicity and authenticity.
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