Birthday Month Day 3

A vital part to throwing a great birthday party is having the perfect guest list of people you love and that are fun to be around.

But, occasionally someone who was not invited feels the need to stop by and crash the party.

An uninvited guest crashed my Day 3 birthday celebration.

photo credit: W J (Bill) Harrison

Day 3’s celebration took place at a bowling alley with some new friends from my BNI group for the group’s monthly social event. I curled my hair, wore a fun top and put on some pink lipstick for the celebration. Once there I laughed with my new friends and tried my first (and second) Long Island Iced Tea.

When I was younger I loved going bowling with my sister, brother and friends. We would often be found at the bowling alley on a Saturday night for Midnight bowling, when we would bowl till 3 or 4 in the morning. However, I retired my bowling shoes after college, and calling my comeback performance rusty would be a generous compliment.

Being somewhat athletic most of my life there have been only a few sports and activities which I couldn’t complete to my satisfaction. However, bowling has become one of those activities.

Maybe it was the Long Island Iced Teas, but I quickly attributed it to losing my athletic ability because……I’m getting old. My body and mind are starting to fail me. I had heard this would happen, and what better timing than Birthday Month.

As I was letting those thoughts seep into my brain and work on being ok with getting old (because I hear you can easily accept that notion in just a few moments in a bowling alley), a couple of my friends made innocent, harmless comments about my age….about how much younger I am than them.

And, that’s when an uninvited guest crashed my party. That bitch, Insecurity, popped in to reinforce the lie that I am not “enough”.

Great – what’s a birthday celebration with out some confusion on feeling too young or too old, instead of just right?

Over the past year I’ve been working hard at battling back against Insecurity. I call her out for what she is – a coward and a bitch. She is simply an obstacle that I must overcome.

My gift to myself on Birthday Month Day 3 was the courage to name my insecurities and the wisdom to embrace being “just right”, which I did by taking a drive through downtown late at night. The dark, empty streets nestled between the tall buildings seemed to be waiting for the hustle and bustle of another work day. It served as a great reminder that life is too dynamic and complicated to be summed up into “I am too much this” or “I am too little that”.

Birthday Month Day 2

For day 2 of Birthday Month I treated myself to a mini-vacation. I escaped from my world of dirty laundry and deadlines to visit the world of another young woman in her moment of truth.

My trip was to the Cultural Center at Glen Allen to see the On The Air Radio Players present “The Philadelphia Story” – which was released in 1940 as a movie staring Cary Grant & Katherine Hepburn.

Watching the radio show was fun, as the actors were in costume and also performing all the sound effects for the show. The actors did their best to keep up with speed at which Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant would deliver their witty lines –  a fun duo that I fell in love with when my sister and I saw “Bringing up Baby”.

The gift I received came from the main character, a young woman struggling to define herself and her relationships. After much therapy and liquoring up my friends to the point where they spill their inner most thoughts, I have come to the conclusion that we are all fighting this battle of being true to ourselves AND being in relationship with others. I’m front and center on the battlefield, equipped with my heart on my sleeve and an arsenal stock-piled with weapons of mass destruction.

In “The Philadelphia Story”, she won a battle in the war of living. Watching her find a way for love and authenticity to co-exist gave me hope that I can also win those battles and taste the sweet victory when my heart stays intact and I experience the miracle of connecting with another human being.

Birthday Month

Most of you only think of today as March 1st.

Yet, my family knows that today is the first day of Birthday Month. Some people just celebrate on their actual birthday, others may stretch it to an entire week, but I’m not most people.

I love to celebrate, plus I know so many wonderful people with birthdays in March that I declared each day of the month shall be celebrated!

Each day this month I will do something to celebrate life, all the way up until the 31st (which is my birthday).

Today I celebrated the love of a good friend and the sweetness of life by enjoying a delicious vegan cookie that was given to me. I also celebrated my desire to be a writer by starting an article/essay I hope to craft into something worthy of publication.

My Life

I heard this song for the first time last night and fell in love with it. Thought it might make a great “comeback” post. Enjoy.

My life, it don’t count for nothing
when I look at this world I feel so small
My life, it’s only a season
a passing September that no one will recall

But I gave joy to my mother and I made my lover smile
and I can give comfort to my friends when they’re hurting
and I can make it seem better for a while

My life, it’s half the way traveled
and still I have not found my way out of this night
My life, it’s tangled in wishes
and so many things that just never turned out right

But I gave joy to my mother and I made my lover smile
and I can give comfort to my friends when they’re hurting
and I can make it seem better for a while

- Lyrics by Iris DeMent

Here is the audio from Heather Masse and Garrison Keillor performing this song on Prairie Home Companion.

My Life