Birthday Month Day 3

A vital part to throwing a great birthday party is having the perfect guest list of people you love and that are fun to be around.

But, occasionally someone who was not invited feels the need to stop by and crash the party.

An uninvited guest crashed my Day 3 birthday celebration.

photo credit: W J (Bill) Harrison

Day 3’s celebration took place at a bowling alley with some new friends from my BNI group for the group’s monthly social event. I curled my hair, wore a fun top and put on some pink lipstick for the celebration. Once there I laughed with my new friends and tried my first (and second) Long Island Iced Tea.

When I was younger I loved going bowling with my sister, brother and friends. We would often be found at the bowling alley on a Saturday night for Midnight bowling, when we would bowl till 3 or 4 in the morning. However, I retired my bowling shoes after college, and calling my comeback performance rusty would be a generous compliment.

Being somewhat athletic most of my life there have been only a few sports and activities which I couldn’t complete to my satisfaction. However, bowling has become one of those activities.

Maybe it was the Long Island Iced Teas, but I quickly attributed it to losing my athletic ability because……I’m getting old. My body and mind are starting to fail me. I had heard this would happen, and what better timing than Birthday Month.

As I was letting those thoughts seep into my brain and work on being ok with getting old (because I hear you can easily accept that notion in just a few moments in a bowling alley), a couple of my friends made innocent, harmless comments about my age….about how much younger I am than them.

And, that’s when an uninvited guest crashed my party. That bitch, Insecurity, popped in to reinforce the lie that I am not “enough”.

Great – what’s a birthday celebration with out some confusion on feeling too young or too old, instead of just right?

Over the past year I’ve been working hard at battling back against Insecurity. I call her out for what she is – a coward and a bitch. She is simply an obstacle that I must overcome.

My gift to myself on Birthday Month Day 3 was the courage to name my insecurities and the wisdom to embrace being “just right”, which I did by taking a drive through downtown late at night. The dark, empty streets nestled between the tall buildings seemed to be waiting for the hustle and bustle of another work day. It served as a great reminder that life is too dynamic and complicated to be summed up into “I am too much this” or “I am too little that”.