From Thanksgiving 3 years ago
There are things about me that I feel I have lost along the way of life….good things….things that I grieve about. But, when I am with Fawn & Jarrett, I feel those things start to come alive again. Most of all, my want to care for others and the drive to enjoy every moment to the fullest. I know it sounds cheesy…live life to the fullest. But that is what happens when I am with them. The dullest moments, the painful moments, the awkward moments, the joyous moments, the silly moments, the embarrassing moments….everything in life. Everything in life, the good, the bad, and the ugly, is a meaningful opportunity. And, when we are together we choose to explore that for all it is worth. Most of the time we end up in tears or laughing hysterically. This time it was all laughs.
Reminds me of that part of the sermon Kyle was supposed to preach the Sunday he passed away.
“Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun.
If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time.
If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well.
Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done—a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old’s nose, don’t be disgusted if the Kleenex didn’t catch it all… because soon he’ll be wiping his own.
If you’ve recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you’re eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because-it-is-most-definitely-a-Gift.”
I hate this type of irony…it just seems to slowly come in and kick you repeatedly in the head when you are already down on the ground and numb. Just to remind you that you are able to endure even more pain than you ever wished to deal with.