About

I was raised in very small town in Virginia by my mom, grandmother and the town community, including teachers, coaches, church members and neighbors. Alongside me were my partners in crime, my sister Fawntane, and my brother Jarrett.

Often we were each other’s first choice in playmates. Summer days, Saturdays and snow days were spent playing school (I was always the teacher); having day-long monopoly (I was always the banker) and Nintendo competitions; setting up our “houses” in the basement and inviting each other over to visit; creating roller skating routines and judging each others’ performances; adapting team sports for just three players; and watching movies together. Even in high school, when most siblings like to pretend they are the only kid in their family, we still enjoyed hanging out with each other. Most weekends we would invite our friends to go out together for a night of mid-night bowling followed by a 3:00 am dinner at IHOP.

My mom took me to church each week, encouraged me to be active at school and cheered loudly for me at sporting events, even during warm-ups.

She lectured me on the importance of doing my best, being independent and following my own heart. And, because I was such an angel, she never once had to spank or ground me, which in my later years has taught me to have little regard for consequences, and is to blame for the small fortune I have paid in library fines.

And, then there’s my grandmother. Elementary school teacher, active church member, sassy woman who is not afraid to say what’s on her mind, strong and independent role model and fan of late night TV.

I don’t exactly remember all the details, but I’m pretty sure my grandmother taught me to read, write and do math before I went to school. I remember her making pages of math problems for me to work on during the church sermon when I was a kid. It was because of her that I got off to such a great start in school. From the first day of pre-school, I have loved school! It was fun to learn and discover new things about myself and the world, but it turned out that I was pretty good at that school stuff! This won me lots of praise from my teachers, various stickers, pizza parties and scholarships for college – which was a dream come true.

Jarrett

On the morning of April 16th, my brother Jarrett was in his graduate engineering class at VA Tech. He was excited with the recently received news of acceptance to University of Florida’s Coastal Engineering program,and anxious about his last few days at Tech.

The world will never get to see what wondrous accomplishments and success Jarrett would have had in grad school, in his career and undoubtedly in his relationships. For he was one of the victims of the horrible, unthinkable actions on that cold, snowy morning in Blacksburg.

I miss my brother more than I knew possible to miss a person. Just a few days before he was taken away I talked of how much he meant to me. I said that our relationship was the only one that I felt I understood. Three days before he was killed I said life without him would be something I couldn’t survive.

The relationship between siblings is one of the strongest, most intimate relationships we will ever experience. Placed here with us as a companion for life, we are meant to grow up together and grow old together. Jarrett & I often spoke of the vacations we would take together. We were excited about each others’ careers. We joked of who would take care of Mom. Our conversations were fun,  honest and hopeful for things in the future.

The relationship we shared was stronger than soul mates. I didn’t realize that before 4/16, but know I know it is true. My life has changed more than I thought possible. Some people expect my life to continue on as normal, but I know it won’t. I now live somewhere in between being in shock that he is gone, and wishing I was with him - wherever that may be. Every day I long for him and wonder when I will see him again. Every day I wake up and go through with what is expected of me, hoping that will somehow bring me closer to seeing him again.

Jarrett’s Memorial Site

Enough about me, what about my blog!

I’ve been blogging for a few years. In that I have met some interesting people from all around the world; done a lot of venting; got my husband fired from his role as pastor; posted A LOT of cat pictures; and, hopefully been a source of inspiration…..and laughter.